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Someone recently emailed me with a question about American wedding culture: I am finding more and more that kids are not being invited to weddings and I think that money is a big issue.

In your profile, state outright what you are looking for, whether it is a short-term or long-term relationship leading to marriage. Do not go to Vietnamese restaurants You had this in mind, but don’t do it unless she suggests it. Go to the regular restaurants; order what you like while she does the same. Do things that you both love Any expert on dating will tell you that a good relationship is built on friendship and mutual interests.

You see, when you start doing almost everything Vietnamese, learning the language, eating the Viet dishes, it seems as if you are ready to lose your identity completely and become Vietnamese. When you start doing everything just to please her, she will think you are a jerk. You see, just because she is Vietnamese and you are a westerner, it does not make her any less. We tend to seek out people who are like us, who reflect us.

Since most places will charge at least 150/plate I think a couple attending a wedding should give about $300, which is generally seen as a nice gift. I gave lower than my usual $300 since it was a house party with no DJ or band. Those cheap bastards didn’t deserve to eat at my wedding.

I think $200 would be light, but it depends on how expensive the wedding reception is. At my own wedding, where I paid $200 per plate, a jackass family of doctors gave 50 bucks for their 4 person families. On the other side of the argument, someone said the cost of the wedding has nothing to do with how much guests should give: A gift is just that, a gift.

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