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Have you ever read a mean girls profile and thought…”I have no idea what to say”? But how to use Tinder most effectively has some tricks you might not know about.

The greatest invention in romance since condoms, dating apps are pure efficiency: thousands of women, no long profiles to read, no grammar mistakes to harrumph over, nothing but the essentials: picture, age, first name, and a fortune cookie.

You think: All single women are on Tinder and variety is my ally.

She thinks: Tinder is a Greyhound bus full of slobbering old men.

You think: In a world of bunny rabbit boilers, reveal no identifying details.

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