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GABBY: But people also project their own insecurities, too. If I meet someone who is dressed really well, or just doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me, I write them off as intimidating or too cool instead of risking approaching them and having them reject me.

I get intense admiration for people, and then get nervous that it won’t be reciprocated! HAZEL: I don’t think being selective makes you intimidating, and you’ll always encounter people who seem genuine and then it turns out they’re not, so it’s good to be aware of the vibes you get from people or what they’re saying about you.

I guess I’m jealous of people who intimidate me because I wish I could feel as cool as they seem to actually be. There are so many girls who exist doing great things and being interesting, why Jealousy to me always implies anger.

I don’t feel angry at people who are cooler than me—I don’t like want to wreck their life because they have a boyfriend and I don’t, or they hang out with rock bands and I don’t.

Even though we went to different schools and lived in separate towns, we bonded over our similarities: We were both nerdy, ambitious feminists who liked to dress up and joke around.

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